Home Wedding guest guide
Your guide to a Hindu wedding
For friends and guests from every background. What happens, in order, what each step means, and what to wear. Pandit Ji (the respected priest who leads the ceremony) explains each step on the day. Families can send this link with their invitations.
Before you go
What to wear
Bright, happy colours are welcome. Many families prefer guests not to wear all black or all white, as white is often worn for mourning. Covered shoulders are respectful. Indian clothes are welcome, but never required.
Shoes
Shoes come off before anyone steps into the mandap (wedding canopy). In the seating area, follow the family’s lead. Easy slip-on shoes help.
Photos
Photos are usually welcome. Please stay in your seat and out of the aisle, so the family and the photographer can see every moment.
Food
There is usually a meal after the ceremony, often vegetarian. There is no alcohol during the ceremony.
What happens, in order
These are the main steps of a Gujarati Hindu wedding. Each has a short meaning, so you can follow along. Every family’s order can differ a little, and Pandit Ji explains each step on the day.
The welcome
Vara Aagman the groom arrives
The groom comes with his family and friends, and the bride’s family welcome him. The bride’s mother greets him with a welcome ritual and leads him to the mandap (wedding canopy).
Madhuparka honey and yoghurt for the groom
The bride’s parents offer the groom honey and yoghurt. Honey stands for sweetness, and yoghurt for strength.
Ganesh Puja prayer to Lord Ganesh
A prayer to Lord Ganesh, who removes obstacles, to bless the couple and the day.
Kanya Aagman the bride arrives
The bride is brought to the mandap, often by her brothers or her mama (mother’s brother). A cloth curtain, the antarpat, is held between the couple and lowered after a prayer. They see each other and exchange garlands.
The promise
Kanya Daan giving away the bride
A loop of sacred cotton thread is placed around the couple, and the bride’s parents place her hand in the groom’s hand.
Hastamelap joining of hands and tying the knot
The couple’s right hands are joined, with a betel nut between them, and covered with a red cloth. The groom’s sister ties the knot of their scarves.
Around the sacred fire
Vivaha Havan lighting the sacred fire
The sacred fire is lit. Agni, the fire, is the eternal witness to the marriage.
Shilarohana stepping on the stone
The bride places her foot on a stone, a sign of strength and staying firm together in difficult times.
Mangal Pheras four rounds of the sacred fire
With their scarves tied, the couple walk around the fire four times, for the four aims of life: Dharma (duty), Artha (honest wealth), Kama (love) and Moksha (spiritual freedom).
Saptapadi the seven steps
The couple take seven steps together, one promise with each step. After this, the bride sits on the groom’s left side.
Blessings
Mangal Sutra and Sindoor the sacred necklace and red powder
The groom ties the mangal sutra (sacred necklace) and puts sindoor (red powder) in the parting of the bride’s hair.
Akhand Saubhagyavati blessings from married women
Married women of the family whisper "Akhand Saubhagyavati" in the bride’s ear: a blessing for good fortune and a long, happy married life.
Kansar Bhakshan the first meal together
The bride’s mother brings kansar, a sweet of crushed wheat, sugar and ghee, and the couple feed it to each other.
Chab gifts for the bride from the groom’s family
The groom’s family give gifts to the bride, a warm welcome into her new family. Each family does this in its own way.
Ashirvaad first blessing as husband and wife
Pandit Ji and the elders bless the couple, and the couple touch the elders’ feet with respect. Guests often shower flower petals or akshat (blessed rice).
Farewell
Koda Kodi a playful ring game
A ring is hidden in a bowl, and the couple search for it with one hand. Everyone cheers for the winner, said to be the one who will lead at home.
Vidai farewell to the bride
The bride says goodbye to her family as she leaves with her husband. It is a happy and tearful moment.
When to stand and sit
Guests can stay seated for most of the ceremony. Many guests stand when the bride arrives. Pandit Ji will say when to stand, and when to shower flower petals or akshat (blessed rice) on the couple. If you are not sure, simply follow the family.
The sacred fire
The havan (sacred fire) burns in a small metal fire pit called a kund. Agni, the fire, is the witness to the marriage, so the couple make their promises in front of it. Please do not walk between the couple and the fire.
Saptapadi, the seven steps
With each step the couple make a promise to each other:
- Food and care for each other
- Strength in body and mind
- Wealth earned by right means
- Happiness and harmony together
- Children and a happy family
- Prosperity and a long life
- Loyalty and lifelong friendship
Guest questions
How long is a Hindu wedding ceremony?
It depends on the family and their traditions. The couple or Pandit Ji can tell you the timing for the day.
Do I need to understand Sanskrit?
No. The mantras (sacred verses) are in Sanskrit, and Pandit Ji (the respected priest who leads the ceremony) explains each step in English as it happens, so everyone can follow.
Can I take photos?
Usually yes. Stay in your seat and out of the aisle and the mandap, so the family and the photographer can see. If the couple ask for no phones, please respect that.
Is there food?
There is usually a meal after the ceremony, and it is often vegetarian. Some families also serve drinks or snacks as guests arrive. There is no alcohol during the ceremony.
Planning your own wedding?
Tell Pandit Ji the date and your town. Peterborough and surrounding areas most often; anywhere in the UK with proper planning.